*Life

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My life is barreling in directions I’m unsure whether I really want to go. Our son is beginning his senior year of high school. Our oldest goes back for her junior year in college. Our youngest begins 7th grade.

Am I ready for this? I feel inside a fragility about it all. An uncertainty as to whether I am strong enough for all that lies ahead. I felt it teeter and bend towards tears last night as we left a Concert Choir concert, watching this son we love do what he loves, beginning the last year of his high school education. My husband felt it too and audibly recognized the ache in his heart. He said something about wondering if he could make it through this year. I added that it is not just this year but the next as well: the senior year, the summer before college, the moving them in, the first year of college-will they be ok?

And so I stand on the brink of two (at least), very full years. We take Catherine back this Thursday to college, on Monday Maddie begins 7th grade, William starts his senior year. Can I make it through this?

I’ve had a growing sense lately that I’ve been given two gifts (aside from my very dear friends) that will help me through. Two very tangible activities that have built into them, an ability to stabilize me, to bring comfort and healing, to give direction and solace, to literally knit together what has come unraveled. I know very well that a pen and sketchbook, a hank of yarn and needles, have no abilities in and of themselves. It’s just that something comes THROUGH them to me, something of benefit to me that goes beyond a final product of “painting” or “sweater”. I cannot explain it to you. It just is. And I am so very grateful for these two activities, these two art forms which speak volumes if only to me.

I will blog the journey as well, drawcumenting and knitting up the days that lie ahead. I’m so very grateful that you, dear reader, have come along with me on this journey too. I hope you’ll continue. I’m feeling more and more certain that Knitterly Arts best describes the path I’m on. Whether you knit or draw or both or none, I’m glad you’re here. And whatever you may be facing in your own life, let’s draw through them together and knit up the days ahead with joy and peace.

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5 thoughts on “*Life

  1. I’m visiting with my grand kids who go back to school tomorrow. Two are going to college (one is 15 still and the other is 16). My grandson who is in the army up in Alaska is turning 20 tomorrow! And, my youngest granddaughter starts 8th grade on Tuesday. I was just telling them they aren’t allowed to grow up so fast! It’s always a bittersweet moment when we realize time is moving by and we can’t stop them from growing up!

  2. I hope the ache is less than you fear it might be. But it’s hard. My sons are so much younger than yours, but I’ve felt that from the moment of birth, they’ve been taking a journey further and further away from me, both physically and mentally. Wishing you strength, and also joy and pride in your children’s achievements and milestones, and of course also joy in knitting and drawing.

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